The Rest of Today

Today was a pretty good day. It feels like school is floating on by, because I care so little about it. Homework? What's that? No, I finish my work. I just basically don't care about it. Although I guess I care enough to do it.. Who knows?

Bah, humbug. Drama up in hurr. Not in my life, but in the lives of my friends still. More friends now with drama. I wish I could help them with it, but it's the kind of drama that can't exactly be fixed. It's not like a dumb fight over a pencil, but more like a situation that is dramatic by nature. I don't know if I can make it make any more sense than that. Basically the drama is caused by external sources, so there's nothing that can be done except wait it out. Which is what I used to always try to do, and I don't know why I stopped.. It used to work beautifully, as far as I can remember. But it must have stopped working well because now I confront most things.

At least, with my close friends I do.

My toleration skills are getting so good!! It used to be I would just walk away when I saw someone I didn't like with people I do like. Now I can sit as long as thirty minutes with them before needed to excuse myself. Progress is awesome.

In my Chinese class we're doing these competition things, which I don't actually care about, but I know that if I didn't have to be on a team I would win it all. My team is bringing me down. Who cares that there's no I in team? There's an I in win. And that's what I'd be doing if everyone wasn't such a dumbass. But if every kid wasn't such a dumbass, then maybe I couldn't win against them.. Hmm interesting thought. Still, when I'm in Chinese, homicide doesn't sound as crazy.

Speaking of Chinese, today at Tsing Tao I had really yummy food.

In my math class, I was surprised to figure out that I know the names of 19 kids out of like 30! That's awesome! At first I thought it was like 7. And then, I kept counting people I recognized, and it was so shocking! In a sort of pleasant way. Even though I dislike most of the people in the class, knowing most of their names makes me feel more justified in disliking them. Like if no one knew Hitler's name, I think they'd dislike him less, because he'd be kind of anonymous. Knowing who someone is makes that person significantly more relateable/hateable. I'm just having a lot of brain blasts here, who knows where they're coming from?

Today at BYBA a few other members and I talked to our Public Relations person to see if we can get some publicity about our trip to DC to go lobby for the FREED Act. That was cool.

Someone anonymous said I decided to shun him or her in a comment, and I just wanted to acknowledge that person. If I decided to shun you, there was probably a reason for it, and that comment was abrasive in its nature and it's a good thing I don't know who you are or I think you'd be embarrassed, which is why I'm speculating you're staying anonymous. No hard feelings, I just wonder why you would want to make yourself known in that way.

Today I posted a quote from This Side of Paradise by Fitzgerald on my tumblr; I think that'll be less like a blog and more like a place to put my quick random thoughts. Maybe it'll be fun.

What a random post. This series of random thoughts... Ah well.

College Admissions

I didn't get into NYU, so I'm going to CU!! I'm pretty excited. I literally found out a few minutes ago, so the internet is the first to know besides my family (who I just emailed). I'll blog again later, but I just wanted to get my thoughts out right now.

I'm really not disappointed, which is almost surprising. I didn't build my hopes up, because I didn't know what I wanted to do. And now that it's decided for me, I can look forward to knowing so many people and being so close to home and being able geographically to keep up relationships with my family! And I can stay in BYBA. And I'm happy.

Woohoo

A Lot of This is About Drama

Today I had the first day of school after spring break. It was super. Except for I am pretty done with school - now senioritis is really killing me. Mark said something about being way more productive outside of school than inside, which hit me hard. I have so many extra curricular activities that I do things for, and I get so much done and I'm so interested in it - but when I have to do stuff for school nowadays it just seems so pointless..
Oh well.

My sunburn is slowly getting better. Today it was peeling - it was really gross. But also the new baby skin feels so soft compared to the crusty gross sunburnt skin that's peeling off. It's really nice. But it also hurts and looks disgusting. Like fear factor disgusting.

There is kind of a lot of drama going on with one of my friend groups, which is kind of nice. It means I don't have to talk about my own drama. It's not like I have any to talk about, but when everyone else is discussing theirs, I get to thinking 'do I have any drama in my life?' and I start digging around for it until I have something to complain about. And I hate complaining. So when other people take over that part of conversation, I can stay positive.

You know when you have a relationship with someone that you know should stay the way it is for external reasons, but on the inside you really want something different? Like one time I had a crush on a teacher of sorts, and ended up quitting because I got too excited when our knees touched. Or I dislike a lot of people but for the sake of community and unity and kindness I'm nice to them, to keep things drama-free. Well now I'm going through something like that, and it sucks.

Also I have been thinking about prom, and there isn't really anyone I want to go with, but I want to have a date, but I'm wondering.. Would it really be that bad to fly solo? I think it would be. Damn.

TV and Life and Death

Today I did a lot of thinking. Soulsearching type of stuff, though it sounds kind of holier-than-thou to say it like that. Ashley drove me in the morning to get my car from Mark's, and I was on my way to get gas when I passed my grandpa's memorial park. My grandpa had a huge effect on my life and how I live it, but believe it or not I've only been there twice before. I went there on his funeral (May 2009), and couldn't stop crying for one minute, and spent a lot of the summer crying at night and thinking about him. Or maybe I should call it thinking 'to' him, because I hoped (and still do) that he could hear my thoughts, wherever he was. I won't go into it, but I'm not religious, but I really didn't (and still don't) want him to be gone. I went to his grave once more a while later, and spent about a half hour sitting by his gravestone crying. So because crying always takes a lot of energy and it's embarrassing to sit alone and cry in public, I have avoided ever going to his grave.. really, since he died.

So to get on with it, today I went, and spent a solid ten minutes crying. After that, though, I had another good while of me thinking to him, 'telling' him about my life, how he has affected it, how my grandma's doing.. Stuff like that. And after a while, I realized that no matter how shitty a situation can seem, life always goes on. Like two years ago, when he died, I couldn't go more than a few minutes without thinking about his not being alive. After a while, it was more like a few hours. Then I could go a few days. And now, it's not like I don't remember him, or care, or love him, or anything, it's just that he's not as much a part of my life anymore. I just don't think about him much anymore. But I still remember him like it was yesterday when I stormed to my grandparents' house, upset with some boyfriend (who it was I can't even for sure remember) and he comforted me like I was a baby.

Anyway, I realized life goes on, and it changes. All you will have in the end is memories, so you'd better make good ones. That just adds support to my life strategy, which I adhere to as much as possible (only spending time with people you enjoy, as much as you can).

So then I went home, did some Chinese, finished watching The Terminal (Ryan - I get why you said it was sad. I admit I cried a little, but it still had a happy ending!), read some Machine of Death (a collection of stories by random people about a machine who can tell you how you'll die), went to BYBA (where Carmen and I discussed the speech I'm making in Washington DC in a couple of weeks), went to my grandma's to eat, came home and wrote my speech and watched the new episode of Parenthood.

Parenthood is so good, I don't know why people aren't talking about it more. I'm hooked for sure.

Recap

The last few days I didn't really have access to a computer, so I didn't post anything about being in Costa Rica. Just as well; I didn't do much. I relocated to the Flamingo resort in what I think was Guanacosta or something, and lounged around. The beach was awesome but it smelled like fish, like any beach, and the water was super salty, like any ocean. I normally prefer the pool to the beach, just because it doesn't have sand or salt. But I'm also terrified of the sun, so if I can, I avoid being in the water for too long no matter what.

The last day, I got a gnarly sunburn that gave me these gross bubble type things on my shoulder with puss in them. Ew. It's better now, but it was super gross and painful.

Yesterday I traveled back home and had a great night's sleep in my own bed (imagine angels singing in heaven - it was THAT good), got up in the morning and went to work out, then hung at home to catch up on my shows and do some Chinese. After all of that, I went to Mark's to hang out, did some dancing and some pingponging, which was nice. I played Ryan and felt very competent, like a much fairer match for him. Go ping pong skillz!!

We all hung out with Phil later, and I caught up with some people I haven't seen in a while, which was nice. Now I'm going to sleep with Ashley.

Haha.

Biology Is Cool

Today I felt like myself, but just really crampy. So I sat around and read a bunch of Beloved, wrote an effects statement, and eventually put on sun screen to go play water polo. Afterwards, I took a wonderful shower, then we went out to dinner. Throughout the meal I was trying not to fall asleep; I must be getting old or something.

It doesn't seem like chefs in Costa Rica are big fans of salt - I can't eat all these bland foods without it! I guess for me something either needs to have obvious taste or be spicy or something, otherwise I salt it to death. I had grilled mahi mahi in ginger sauce, steamed vegetables, and mashed potatoes. It was great, but I couldn't finish...

Have you ever tried really hard not to think about something? It always seems that when I try to keep something out of my head, that's when I most obsess over it. I keep trying to distract myself, but somehow things keep reminding me of it and it's like the world is telling me it's time to confront what I'm avoiding.. Or something. I've never been good at interpretation.

Tomorrow we're relocating to a hotel in a less remote part of Costa Rica and supposedly there will actually be people there. By that I mean there will be people my age. Here the population basically consists of middle aged couples, old couples, families with young children, and the party I'm with (we figured out that our average age is 34. We have ten people: my family of four, Liza's family of four, and Tanya and her daughter Anya).

Gosh, rereading my blog I wonder why anyone would read it.. I think maybe I just won't reread it anymore because it's very therapeutic to get all my thoughts out. It's like I have this empty, bottomless vessel that I can pour all my problems and feelings into. Which is nice, because I myself am an empty, bottomless vessel of feelings and problems. What a symbiotic relationship.

PMS

Yesterday I felt kind of off. Like something was missing, but more ambiguous. It was strange; to paraphrase Mark Beaty I wanted to be alone but actually felt lonely and wanted to be with people, but when I was with people I just felt like I wanted to be alone.. If that makes any sense. I just wasn't feeling like myself so after going swimming with Kirill for like an hour I read all day long.

I found Augusten Burroughs' memoir, Running With Scissors, and read it. Normally it takes me at least a few days to read a book, but I was just so not motivated to read Beloved (for school) that I devoured Running With Scissors. I don't know if I'm a fast reader or if I just read a lot.

I have a zit. It sucks. And I'm surrounded by women who hate their bodies, and constantly talk about dieting, working out, and changing them. At first it just seems like they want to be healthy but after a while the talk becomes like a virus, and I'm worried it's starting to infect me. How do you console others without starting to face their problems as your own?

Nature

Today I was in a bad mood for a while for no reason.. That sucked. But at least I went on a really cool hike and saw geisers and mud boiling. That was awesome. It was called Rincon de la Vieja, and we didn't have enough time to go to the actual volcano, but we hiked all around it for around three hours.

In the evening we arrived at our beach abode. I took a shower because I felt the dirtiest I've ever been in my life, after that long hike (I was covered from head to toe in dust and I could swipe a finger across my leg and see brown dirt). We all went to the beach (which is MAYBE 150 meters away), then the pool (which was like 20 meters away from the ocean), then back to our rented villas to change and go to dinner (I had mahi mahi, which I've never had before, which was freaking AWESOME, with mango sauce). After eating, Sasha and Anya and Liza and I went to town to get groceries, and since we came back we've just been having fun.

Loving spring break.
Loving it.

Catch up and Current

Yesterday we went up to the volcano Arenal, but it was too cloudy for us to see details.. Also it's an active volcano so we couldn't climb up so see it up close. So basically we just climbed and hiked for a while and enjoyed good conversation. We went to this great local restaurant called Maravillo, where certain people in our party tried the 'Cuba libre' which is rum, a splash of coke, and a slice of lime. It literally means 'free Cuba' in Spanish... Interesting..

Liza's older brother Sasha and our family friend Anya and Liza and I have been becoming better friends. Sasha and Anya are both adults, and their conversations are pretty entertaining. I love listening to my parents talk - it's almost enriching - but Anya and Sasha have much more relatable stories.

So today we went ziplining, which was super fun (despite our guides seeming very morose.. I was like "why not smile? maybe one time? no? all right," and though I kept trying to start conversations, they were having none of it). After that Anya, Sasha, Liza, and I commandeered our own car (normally my family, Liza's family, and Anya's family all have their own, but this time we made a 'young people' car and gently forced Anya's mom be in Liza's family's car) and listened to what Liza and Anya claimed was good music. I readily accept the fact that my taste in music and movies is depressingly uneducated, so when people say their music is 'good' I just believe them. But excuse me if repetitive techno doesn't seem to be the most cultured music..

We're staying at the Hilton Hotel. It rockssss. Paris, I now understand your shallow qualities. I would be just like you if I was rich.

A bunch of the adults and me met out by the pool at like 10 to talk and stuff, and I (silly me) thought it meant we would swim. Therefore, I was in my swimsuit and was shocked to find everyone completely clothed, not even getting ready for a dip. Since I was already dressed, I decided to take a couple of laps, and it was awesome. Except for the loneliness. So I got out after a bit, and sat with them to dry.

Really fast I'd like to comment on Costa Rica's climate. It's interesting because I always thought of it as like a warm getaway type of place, but in fact that's only the beach part of it. It has mountains everywhere and when you get up there it's windy and rainy and fairly cold (not in the regular sense - it's just a bit chilly. but compared to what I expected, it's cold). So there you go - if you ever come to Costa Rica, pack some pants.

Loving vacation!!!!

Exhaustion = Great Sleep

Today we did a lot of hiking, followed by a lot of swimming and eating. It was great.

I'm dead tired.

Also I found out I'm dumb as hell and forgot that you have to apply to get scholarships... So I'm just now starting to research them. Whatever, psh, who needs money anyway?

I'll just take a deep breath, a step, another deep breath, another step... And keep going.

There's Nothing Better. Do You Like My Sweater?

We tried to see this volcano today, but it was too foggy :(

I safely drove a cool car in the rain through very narrow roads, uninsured. I'm the bomb.

The weather, though rainy, is still warm and beautiful. I'm getting to practice my Spanish left and right. I'm listening to intelligent Russian conversation 24/7. The views are breathtaking. My hair needs basically no supervision because of the humidity. Life is good.

Adios, amigos!!

Going With the Flow

I'm in Costa Rica and the weather is B-E-A-utiful. I love it, and I can't wait to stop looking at this computer screen.

Hopefully I'll be able to post pictures onto here once I get back; until then you'll just have to look up 'Costa Rica' on google images.

Yesterday we spent the wholee day traveling, which kind of sucked, but I also slept a lot and read a lot, which hasn't happened in a while. Also today my mom got an email saying I missed school, and I remembered that I forgot to fill out an extended absence form, but oh well. It's a vacation; who cares about school? Plus I told all my teachers already where I would be. It's nice not having to worry about school for a while. The only homework I brought was Beloved by Toni Morrison, and reading that will be at least semi-enjoyable. Although annotating is by far not my favorite task, the book makes me think, which I like.

I'm almost finished with I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou, and it is fantastic. I hate that it took me so long to read it, because I would have loved it a couple of years ago, but whatever. I love reading not only because of the vocabulary and the spelling and comprehension and writing skills that seemingly automatically come with it, but also because of the connections I make while I'm reading. I read Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison recently, then right after I read The Help by Kathryn Stockett, now I'm reading I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou and Beloved by Toni Morrison. They're all centered around the perspective of American blacks, and it is so interesting to piece together all of these different views... I can really picture a bigger picture now. I don't know, but it's just so awesome. I wish more people knew how I feel, so many people don't see the point of books and I really pity that kind of ignorance - books are a gift.

All righty well Costa Rica is calling, I don't know how much computer access I'll have throughout the trip, but obviously I found it today. Enjoy spring break!! Read, relax, and if you're not somewhere tropical then set a picture of somewhere tropical as your computer background. Looking at those almost makes me feel the warm breeze and the birds chirping.

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE

Have Fun Without Me!

I have to pack, I'm leaving tomorrow.
I'm excited. But I'll miss everyone. But it'll be nice to have some time with my family and with Liza; I really don't get to see them enough.
I'll be gone about 10 days, so I figure I won't be able to post.. Maybe I'll write in a notebook? And then I can copy all of my thoughts from the trip into blogs later? I feel like that would be very time-taking. Maybe I'll do it anyway.

Be safe, don't die or anything.

Sleep Sleep Sleep

I'm so tired. Tired of school, of being stressed out, of everything. I took a nap today that was wondrous. I had to get up to do some homework, and I didn't even do all of it. Senioritis? I think so.

Good Terms Are Good

Things with Brad are okay again, which really relieves all my stress and crap and shit.

Life is life, life goes on, a rose is a rose is a rose.

Also if I'm ever dressed really nice for no reason it's probably because I feel shitty. Just a fun fact.

And Just When I Thought the Drama Was Over...

It wasn't.

Isn't Friendship Great?

Goddamn, I love my friends. They make my life; seriously, without them all I would do is read and watch shows and movies and learn things. But my friends actually give my life action and meaning. I won't go into details, but my friends help me up when I'm down and find me when I'm lost and do crazy fun shit with me when we get the urge.. It's just so great to know that your friends are there for you. Who cares if I'm alone romantically if I have all these wonderfully spectacular people to lean on? DAMN. That's all I have to say.

Life is only lonely if you make it so, happiness is a choice, and you are beautiful no matter what they say. Thank you, Wisconsin.

What's a Three Piece?

Again, it struck me how weird it is that anyone can read this. I think I'll change the privacy settings.

Today I went to school, hung with some people, then hung with some other people. There was this get together for my friend's birthday and the cops came and everyone had to leave; that was exciting. I ended up just going to Mark's and hanging out more.

I changed my oil, but I still need to change my tires, apparently. The lady at the place said they were worn, but I don't want to spend more time on my car. It's just to get me from place to place, but I guess I also want it to be safe.

As I was driving home I could smell smoke from the Left Hand Canyon fire. Also there's one in Lyons, and yesterday there was a fire on Pearl St. that burned down a restaurant! This earthquake in Japan led to tsunamis.. All this crap is happening. Not just in nature, either, but also politically. With all the revolution and rebellion going on in the Middle East (especially Libya)... It just feels like the world is slowly, piece by piece, falling apart. I think believing in 2012 is dumb, but sometimes I have this hunch that maybe it isn't, and maybe it's real and believable. I wish I could just see it as a hoax, but it's too persuasive.
Damn.
I learn that a pink sock is when during anal sex the male pulls out his penis and a bit of butt is stuck to it and the large intestine (or whatever) gets inverted for a second and it looks like the end of a pink sock on the dick. It's gross, but funny.

Why Are You so Obsessed With Me?

Highlights of the day were Tsing Tao with some buds, after school Liza and I went to the BYBA FUNraiser. It was nice to catch up with her, we haven't seen each other in too long.

I love catching up with friends! It's inevitable to get caught up in your own life and not spend enough time with certain people, but it's awesome when you realize and you talk to them and remember why you're friends in the first place.

I love the song Obsessed by Mariah Carey. It is so catchy.

This One Girl is a ho

I never really got it until today. I knew Mark and Ryan and them didn't like her, so we would joke about her faults. Before, I would just get annoyed that she talked like a tween and seemed stuck-up and just seemed dumb in general, but now I get It. She is stuck up and dumb and mean. Just.. Jeez.

I need some new sandals and I'd like a new swimsuit for when I go to Costa Rica, but I don't seem to have much time to find said things. I also have to change the oil in my car, but I don't know when I'm going to do that, either. Damn, life's a bitch.

Now on to the positives in life. Today Ashley and I did some math, which was nice, then we went to school, where I had to tolerate the kids in my Chinese class, then I hung out with Ashley and Mark, then I went to Digital Art (I'm almost done with my design! I just have to finish the Nutrition Facts), then I had a voice lesson, then I went home. I'm so tired, and I didn't even do that much today. Guess I'll do some work.

Education is a Privilege

Someone alerted me to the fact that tumblr is a better blog host than blogger, so I am considering switching. But I'm already used to blogger, so I probably won't.

Today I went to breakfast with Kira, where I found out that I could've stayed at my job longer because it's been a month and they still haven't implemented liquor into the menu.. Oh well, it's been a nice vacation. Although I'm starting to notice my lack of money.

After breakfast, I went to 4 straight odd periods, and odd days are my most concentrated. I have LA, during which we don't really learn but we still do things, then Calculus BC, during which we learn a lot, then advanced physics, during which we learn (super boring, but still important), then journalism, during which I read. After school, Ashley and I did a lot of math. She's coming over tomorrow to do more before we go to school.

I also went to BYBA today, and we were super productive. We had a lot of ideas and I'm excited to actually accomplish things, rather than just.. hang out. Don't get me wrong, it's fun, but it's nice knowing we have purpose.

I am so done with school. I like the subject matter, but I find myself getting more and more obsessed with the stupidity of my classmates. Maybe we would actually learn something if 3/4 of the class would shut up once in a while. Today, during the entry activity in LA, I couldn't concentrate because so many kids were having conversations. There's no way they all wrote thoughtful paragraphs during those 7 minutes. It just pissed me off - it's such a privilege to go to school, we are so fortunate for all we have, and so many of us are just little dicks and those people don't appreciate anything and they don't realize how FUCKING lucky they are to be getting an education. And the hardest part for me to accept is that it's not that they aren't smart and able to learn, it's that they don't want to. They don't see the merit. And that is what is going to make this nation a failure in the coming decades. If we don't get our educational system reformed and stress how important it is, shit is going to hit the fan, oh my brothers.

Emotions AGAIN?

I don't know why, but lately I've been really hormonal. It's very unsettling, not being able to control or understand my own emotions.

I have this personal self-help movement going on that has been in place probably since 7th grade. When I notice that I repeatedly do something as a habit or have a certain fear, I immediately stop. This has happened on numerous occasions... In 7th grade, I bit my nails habitually. Actually, I had for my whole childhood. After a while of my family berating me for it, I decided to stop, and did. In 9th grade, I had a very short cigarette frenzy, and once I realized I was smoking regularly, I stopped forever. Now, I have been cracking my knuckles and biting my cheeks, which I have decided to stop doing. As far as fears go, I was at various points in my life afraid of clowns, heights, death, my future, all bugs and creepy crawlies, and I successfully overcame them all. Now I'm dealing with fear of commitment, I think. And when I rationally think about it, I realize that commitment would be wonderful, and I don't think I'm consciously afraid of it, it's just that whenever I'm faced with the choice of committing to someone (romantically) or not, I naturally lean towards not. I don't know how to fix that, but I want to change. Not being able to really depend on someone makes me feel less human.

I have been kind of bored the past week, it's like I have nothing to fantasize about. I suppose I should fantasize about Costa Rica, since I'm going there for spring break. It's just that it's hard to fantasize when I have no idea what it's going to be like. I guess my imagination sucks.

Lately I've been drifting apart from certain friends, which sucks, but I'm realizing that that's how life is. As much as you might love someone, life can lead you apart, and that's okay. It's just how it goes, and I appreciate the friends I've been getting closer to as a result of all the time I've been spending with them. Life is really good, I don't know why I'm always complaining. I'm going to try to stop that habit, too.

Today I went to school, then dropped off Zach and Miri Make a Porno, went to work out, realized that I dropped the movie at the wrong video place, picked it up, went home, realized I had to drop it off at the other video place, drove back, drove home, and realized I have to get my oil changed. Damn, I'm forgetful. But it was a pretty regular day.

Thanks for reading!
See ya, wouldn't want to be ya!

Half Here, Half Somewhere Else

I felt kind of detached all day. At Russian I felt a bit complacent, but I kept it in. Certain places are just not the best places to be cocky. Hanging out with Caty was fun, but when Emily and Lindsay showed up, I got all quiet for some reason. What's wrong with me? I was kind of like that yesterday for a while, too.

Everybody has those days, everybody makes mistakes. Thank you Miley.

Not in the Mood to Write

Yesterday I went to the Hospice Care Thrift Store and volunteered for the first time in a long time. It was really nice. After that I went to my performance class and sang good. Then I went to Flatirons to meet BYBA and put body positive stickers on dressing room mirrors. Then we all went to a lockin at the YMCA! It was super fun.

Stay classy.

Loneliness > Shitty People

I just realized how weird it is that basically anyone, whether I know them or not, can look at my blog and know a lot of details of my whereabouts and details about me.. Because basically what I'm doing here is documenting my daily activities and I've gotten into the habit of saying one main emotional thing, sort of.. But this is pretty therapeutic for me, so I'll just let dem stalkers be creepy.


So today I woke up at 7:28 and realized I had to book shit to get to school, which I did, and got to school at like 7:50. Not bad. I did this, only to walk into my Chinese class to find that we were just looking at pictures from the China trip of 2010. For the whole period, we just looked at pictures. It was awesome, but the biggest waste of time!! Oh well. For 4th, lunch, and 6th, I went to Lindsay's house and ate and watched 1.5 movies (500 Days of Summer and most of Hairspray, the latter of which I've never seen before). Then I came back to school for Digital Art and Design.

In Digital Art we're working on this product design where we make up an energy drink (but I'm making a tea) and pick a demographic and sort of target our design towards that audience. It's pretty cool, and I thought it would suck at first, but I actually like my design. It's nice.

After school, I went to Mark's and we watched The Office until he had to go meet his Grandpappy to see if a bunch of his friends can go to a little house/cottage/villa/shack (can you tell I don't know what exactly it is? I think it's a house) in Indiana.. And, drum roll, he said yes! The only thing is that Mr. Grandpappy has to ask his brother. So, that will be cool.

While Mark was chatting with Grandpappy, I went to my grandma's for the first time in a while. She fed me and we talked for a bit, then I went back to Mark's where a bunch of us played Need for Speed, hot tubbed, then went to Ryan's to watch Zach and Miri Make a Porno (which I loved).

I also realized today that I would SOOO much rather be lonely than be with people I don't like, which may not be unique, but it kind of nailed me on the head and I just suddenly was aware of how much I appreciate my friends. So my advice is to spend time with people you like, because you're going to die and do you really want to have spent your life with people you hate?

Anticipation for Vacation

Today was pretty busy, in a good way. I went to school, then Tsing Tao, then school, then the CU Rock Your Body event where we took some killer pictures, then to work out (took a nap in the parking lot for about 20 minutes before, because I'm that cool), then to Video Station to get My Father's Glory, then home. Ashley came over and we watched the movie, had awesome conversation, and just enjoyed each other's company. It'd be nice to be that close with a boy, I suppose, but who knows? Now just isn't the right time for that, I guess.

I'm getting through (slowly, but surely) I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou. It's pretty interesting once you get through a few chapters.
Spring Break is in two weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Costa Rica, here I come!

Books are the best escape

I'm really enjoying this CSAP schedule, but tomorrow it's back to getting up at 6:00 AM. I found this new site that lets you watch movies fo free on it.. Unfortunately, I've already gotten used to sleeping in so I doubt I'll be able to fall asleep, but oh well. I guess it serves me right, staying up so late watching average movies and reading. Life is good, though.

In about a month I'll know where I'm going for college.. The suspense begins.

Thoughful Friends Rock

Yesterday was so eventful. I went to school, worked out, finished The Help by Kathryn Stockett, started a rough draft for my Invisible Man essay, Brad and I ended things for good, and Mark dropped off a poster he made for me.

Liberation feels good.