Dear Internet,
I'm excited for PROM!! It should be really fun. In general I'm excited for this new stage of life - done with high school, looking forward to summer and college.
I can't wait to go camping.
I can't wait to have unlimited (or as close as it gets) time.
I am pumpedddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
Thank you for reading.
I feel so independent. And grown up. And ready to let go and dive into the deep unknown. Where is that line from? I can't remember. I looked it up on google. Nothing helpful.
Time for bed.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
WASAP MAH N-WORDS
Haven't blogged in a while. I don't feel like writing much.
I have been hating on everything for the past month, but a few days ago a bunch of people commented on it and I thought maybe I should just try to tolerate everything for a few days and see how that goes. And guess what! It's way better. When I don't have an opinion set against something already, I often enjoy it much more than I would've.
I love new beginnings. I turn over new leaves kind of often but it makes me feel like anything is achievable if only I start over and try again and try harder and keep going, you know? And leaving the old leaf behind with all its regrets and failures is nice, too - though I keep it in mind so I don't do them all over again. I think I'm starting a new leaf currently, with college and growing up and errithang. It's exciting.
Soon the AP exams will be upon us. I don't think I'm ready, but oh fucking well. :) Life is good; I'm enjoying it; AP exams don't matter.
LOVE LOVE LOVE
Vally
I have been hating on everything for the past month, but a few days ago a bunch of people commented on it and I thought maybe I should just try to tolerate everything for a few days and see how that goes. And guess what! It's way better. When I don't have an opinion set against something already, I often enjoy it much more than I would've.
I love new beginnings. I turn over new leaves kind of often but it makes me feel like anything is achievable if only I start over and try again and try harder and keep going, you know? And leaving the old leaf behind with all its regrets and failures is nice, too - though I keep it in mind so I don't do them all over again. I think I'm starting a new leaf currently, with college and growing up and errithang. It's exciting.
Soon the AP exams will be upon us. I don't think I'm ready, but oh fucking well. :) Life is good; I'm enjoying it; AP exams don't matter.
LOVE LOVE LOVE
Vally
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Bittersweet
Today was senior ditch day and 4-20. That was nice. Except I don't smoke, and I didn't ditch. So all my classes were super easy and fun (except math, in which I didn't do well on a quiz) and it was like ditching, only I was at school.
Crapola I don't feel prepared for the AP Calc BC exam.
A couple of my friends don't have prom dates and I'm really feeling empathy.. Not having a date to senior prom when literally all your friends do (you know, except for the other two) would feel SOO BAD. I.. Jeez. How shallow, that we base some of our self-worth off of our relationships with others, but still! Being human is about relationships with others. SO it matters.
I'm tired. Good night :)
Crapola I don't feel prepared for the AP Calc BC exam.
A couple of my friends don't have prom dates and I'm really feeling empathy.. Not having a date to senior prom when literally all your friends do (you know, except for the other two) would feel SOO BAD. I.. Jeez. How shallow, that we base some of our self-worth off of our relationships with others, but still! Being human is about relationships with others. SO it matters.
I'm tired. Good night :)
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Donee
Tomorrow's 4-20! Time to smoke a fatty bowl! Just kidding.
Not the biggest fan of marijuana, not going to lie. It's just not exciting. It only serves as a drain of fun for me. So no thank you. But have fun everyone who is going to get super highh.
Today was cool. Nothing of interest happened. Nothing out of the ordinary.
I can't wait for summer - today Caty and I hung out for a while and it was just so nice, sitting around, not thinking about our responsibilities for a couple of hours... It was great. And this summer I don't think I'm going to have a job so basically that means I will hang out with all my loves 24-7!!!!! Time to partay. Wholesome, though.
I'm planning my graduation party. Should be fun.
Life is good in the hood, except for my AP tests coming up that I'm totally not ready for. Should be good. Awesome sauce. I can't wait for prom. I can't wait for summer. I need to get out of Fairview.
Not the biggest fan of marijuana, not going to lie. It's just not exciting. It only serves as a drain of fun for me. So no thank you. But have fun everyone who is going to get super highh.
Today was cool. Nothing of interest happened. Nothing out of the ordinary.
I can't wait for summer - today Caty and I hung out for a while and it was just so nice, sitting around, not thinking about our responsibilities for a couple of hours... It was great. And this summer I don't think I'm going to have a job so basically that means I will hang out with all my loves 24-7!!!!! Time to partay. Wholesome, though.
I'm planning my graduation party. Should be fun.
Life is good in the hood, except for my AP tests coming up that I'm totally not ready for. Should be good. Awesome sauce. I can't wait for prom. I can't wait for summer. I need to get out of Fairview.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Stick-shift!
I really want a stick shift car. I realize that it's just materialistic and I'm always wanting new things, but I still want it. The reason is it seems it would require more focus - thereby both making it fun and helping to keep the driver concentrated on the road and avoiding crashes. Also stick shift cars are cheaper. Also basically everyone I know drives stick and I want to fit in.
That was only half a joke.
So on Saturday I woke up way earlier than I wanted to so I could go to Saturday School. That was SUPER FUN - except for being not fun at all. The first three hours were super productive, but then I just ran out of cranial power. Ashley was super impressive and kept working and I felt jealous, but when I read more questions it just sounded like gibberish and I could not conceptualize what anything meant anymore. SOOOO now I know I should get enough sleep before the test and I for sure need to review math. Fucking a. After that I went home and wrote a bunch of paragraphs about why I rock (I mean, classier than that, but I feel that's a lot of what applying for things is) for this scholarship, then went to Pearl street and walked around for a while. I visited Mel at the Ritz, which was fun (I found this super awesome flower hair clip that was way too big to be tasteful but looked good, but it cost $18 which was ungodly). After that, I drove to Denver to hang with my little brother Daniel and saw my dad and step-mom. In the night I hung out with Tyler and Emily and Caty and some other cool cats, which was nice but we stayed up super late which made it really hard to get up this morning.
Today I went to Russian and realized that it's all well and good that I go to Russian school and I'm sure it's made a big difference in my literacy, but I will not be excellent until I live in Russia for a while. I need to figure out how to incorporate Russia into my life. Maybe study abroad?
After Russian I went to three different dry-cleaning places that were all closed. Which sucked. Finally I just saw one on the way home after I was basically giving up and dropped off some stuff there. I have never dry cleaned anything before.. I wonder what the technology looks like? When I got home I did some physics (which, as I'm sure you can imagine, was thrilling). I don't really care, though, because at this point I don't value Fairview's anything except the academic environment, which is super easy to excell in if you want to. I'm done pretending I love all the people, I'm done being unnecessarily nice. If you're not sure if I like you, a good way to double-check is to ask yourself these questions:
1) When I walk up to her, does Vally seem invested in our conversation? Or does she answer with one word and leave quickly?
2) When I talk to her, does Vally smile?
3) When I walk up to a group, do I see Vally walk away?
Because the truth is, I'm not downright mean to anyone (at least I don't think I am). If I don't like someone, I just don't waste time interacting with them. I'd rather be alone than be with a group of people I like and someone I really don't appreciate.
Christ! I am suuuuper self-involved. At least it must seem this way in this blog. But the truth is I care a lot about my friends. It's just this blog is for me. Sooo I guess it makes sense that it's self involved.
I went to Denver again to hang with Dima's parents (my grandparents) and Kirill and I tried to go swimming but the water was wayy too cold for me. We ate dinner and came home.
I have basically been falling asleep all day, and I think it's time to actually do that.
Self help may seem dumb, but it's actually a great way to maintain a positive outlook and look back and realize accomplishment. I read this huge thing for CU today about how to succeed in the engineering department, and it was super helpful. Okay now I'm going to bed.
That was only half a joke.
So on Saturday I woke up way earlier than I wanted to so I could go to Saturday School. That was SUPER FUN - except for being not fun at all. The first three hours were super productive, but then I just ran out of cranial power. Ashley was super impressive and kept working and I felt jealous, but when I read more questions it just sounded like gibberish and I could not conceptualize what anything meant anymore. SOOOO now I know I should get enough sleep before the test and I for sure need to review math. Fucking a. After that I went home and wrote a bunch of paragraphs about why I rock (I mean, classier than that, but I feel that's a lot of what applying for things is) for this scholarship, then went to Pearl street and walked around for a while. I visited Mel at the Ritz, which was fun (I found this super awesome flower hair clip that was way too big to be tasteful but looked good, but it cost $18 which was ungodly). After that, I drove to Denver to hang with my little brother Daniel and saw my dad and step-mom. In the night I hung out with Tyler and Emily and Caty and some other cool cats, which was nice but we stayed up super late which made it really hard to get up this morning.
Today I went to Russian and realized that it's all well and good that I go to Russian school and I'm sure it's made a big difference in my literacy, but I will not be excellent until I live in Russia for a while. I need to figure out how to incorporate Russia into my life. Maybe study abroad?
After Russian I went to three different dry-cleaning places that were all closed. Which sucked. Finally I just saw one on the way home after I was basically giving up and dropped off some stuff there. I have never dry cleaned anything before.. I wonder what the technology looks like? When I got home I did some physics (which, as I'm sure you can imagine, was thrilling). I don't really care, though, because at this point I don't value Fairview's anything except the academic environment, which is super easy to excell in if you want to. I'm done pretending I love all the people, I'm done being unnecessarily nice. If you're not sure if I like you, a good way to double-check is to ask yourself these questions:
1) When I walk up to her, does Vally seem invested in our conversation? Or does she answer with one word and leave quickly?
2) When I talk to her, does Vally smile?
3) When I walk up to a group, do I see Vally walk away?
Because the truth is, I'm not downright mean to anyone (at least I don't think I am). If I don't like someone, I just don't waste time interacting with them. I'd rather be alone than be with a group of people I like and someone I really don't appreciate.
Christ! I am suuuuper self-involved. At least it must seem this way in this blog. But the truth is I care a lot about my friends. It's just this blog is for me. Sooo I guess it makes sense that it's self involved.
I went to Denver again to hang with Dima's parents (my grandparents) and Kirill and I tried to go swimming but the water was wayy too cold for me. We ate dinner and came home.
I have basically been falling asleep all day, and I think it's time to actually do that.
Self help may seem dumb, but it's actually a great way to maintain a positive outlook and look back and realize accomplishment. I read this huge thing for CU today about how to succeed in the engineering department, and it was super helpful. Okay now I'm going to bed.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Honor
Since the last time I posted, I feel a lot has happened. Monday I went to Washington DC, spent the day eating and lounging around the condo with my BYBA girlies. Tuesday we went lobbying and met with several legislative assistants and took a picture with Perlmutter. Talia, Gaelyn, and I spoke at the congressional briefing. It was awesome. Wednesday we hung out, ate, and went back home. Thursday morning I missed Chinese to go get this award for being an outstanding youth leader, which was awesome and I felt super honored, then I went to Chinese with Mark, Ryan, Ashley, and Slick. After hanging out, I went to ten minutes of Digital Art and Design 2, only to leave to go give a BYBA presentation to Manhattan Middle School 8th graders.
After all of that, I went to work out and suddenly was in a super angry venty mood and just yelled at 24 hour fitness, venting to Mel for like an hour. I apologized at the end for being so whiny, but she was totally nice about it. God, even just remembering it makes me angry. I whined about prom, my parents (I love them but sometimes they accidentally shrink my clothes), my love life, my academic life, my singing, and who knows what else? It felt neverending. But we figured out that we live crazy close, which was cool.
After that I went home, did a bunch of physics, then went to Ryan's for a The Office party. The episode this week was so good! Also Parks and Rec was hilarious.
Today was Friday, Friday, and you'd better believe I got down. I have SO MUCH WORK to catch up on. But it's okay because I'm on it. For LA it's not too bad, just annotating poems and do this timed writing, Chinese is a joke (I love it but there's no work), in math we didn't do anything concrete really, and mostly it's just physics I'm worried about. I have to make up this really long test. But that's next Thursday and I have a ton of time and it'll be fine. It's just that a ton of people have told me it's long and hard like a cock.
During Journalism today, I got asked to prom! It was super unexpected because I thought Stan was going to ask Emily, but then he asked me! It's funny because I guess all my friends already knew, but didn't tell me so it'd be a surprise. I love surprises.
PLAY BY PLAY
I walk into the Jlab, say hi to people, ask Stan if he got a new haircut, he says yes, I say it looks good, we all sit down to listen to Eli (who has really become a leader! jeez, it's kind of impressive how much he's changed, just between being a section editor to being editor in chief), and Stan yells wait! And tries to say something in Russian while walking towards me with flowers. What he said was mostly incomprehensible, but I figured - what else could he be asking me? So that was cool.
In Digital Art and Design 2 we're watching Ironman 2. It's so cool and also it's funny because there's this 'Russian' villain who can't speak Russian or even pretend for shit. I just laugh at his attempts. Also they portray Moscow winters as summer compared to what they are in real life. The guy was wearing like a tank top and a jacket unzipped. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but even badasses bundle up - way up - for winter in Russia.
After school I hung out with Mark and Rick and Ryan and Ashley and a bunch of others came later. It was pretty fun but eventually I was tired and wasn't feeling it anymore so I went home.
AHHH I'm so tired and this blog has drained the last of my energy. Good night and good luck.
After all of that, I went to work out and suddenly was in a super angry venty mood and just yelled at 24 hour fitness, venting to Mel for like an hour. I apologized at the end for being so whiny, but she was totally nice about it. God, even just remembering it makes me angry. I whined about prom, my parents (I love them but sometimes they accidentally shrink my clothes), my love life, my academic life, my singing, and who knows what else? It felt neverending. But we figured out that we live crazy close, which was cool.
After that I went home, did a bunch of physics, then went to Ryan's for a The Office party. The episode this week was so good! Also Parks and Rec was hilarious.
Today was Friday, Friday, and you'd better believe I got down. I have SO MUCH WORK to catch up on. But it's okay because I'm on it. For LA it's not too bad, just annotating poems and do this timed writing, Chinese is a joke (I love it but there's no work), in math we didn't do anything concrete really, and mostly it's just physics I'm worried about. I have to make up this really long test. But that's next Thursday and I have a ton of time and it'll be fine. It's just that a ton of people have told me it's long and hard like a cock.
During Journalism today, I got asked to prom! It was super unexpected because I thought Stan was going to ask Emily, but then he asked me! It's funny because I guess all my friends already knew, but didn't tell me so it'd be a surprise. I love surprises.
PLAY BY PLAY
I walk into the Jlab, say hi to people, ask Stan if he got a new haircut, he says yes, I say it looks good, we all sit down to listen to Eli (who has really become a leader! jeez, it's kind of impressive how much he's changed, just between being a section editor to being editor in chief), and Stan yells wait! And tries to say something in Russian while walking towards me with flowers. What he said was mostly incomprehensible, but I figured - what else could he be asking me? So that was cool.
In Digital Art and Design 2 we're watching Ironman 2. It's so cool and also it's funny because there's this 'Russian' villain who can't speak Russian or even pretend for shit. I just laugh at his attempts. Also they portray Moscow winters as summer compared to what they are in real life. The guy was wearing like a tank top and a jacket unzipped. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but even badasses bundle up - way up - for winter in Russia.
After school I hung out with Mark and Rick and Ryan and Ashley and a bunch of others came later. It was pretty fun but eventually I was tired and wasn't feeling it anymore so I went home.
AHHH I'm so tired and this blog has drained the last of my energy. Good night and good luck.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Cambell's soup is gross
Today I went to Russian and was in a really bad mood because my partner that I go with didn't finish our homework.. Then I hung out at my house until it was time to console Kirill because he was nervous for the concert, then I went to pick up my reliable friends and went to the concert, where I sang very mediocre-ly and my family and friends told me I did well (probably out of pity).
We had dinner at Carraba's and it was really good and I was in a really good mood and my mom and I just had a really meaningful, long conversation, and in a few hours I"m headed off to Washington DC for two days.
Cool beans.
We had dinner at Carraba's and it was really good and I was in a really good mood and my mom and I just had a really meaningful, long conversation, and in a few hours I"m headed off to Washington DC for two days.
Cool beans.
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