I'm feeling very optimistic. Today I had a very pleasant lunch (that I didn't really expect to be quite that pleasant) with someone and it made me see that every interaction is whatever you want it to be. I'm reading this book called "The Art of Racing in the Rain" by Garth Stein and there is a quote in there:
"That which you manifest is before you."
How wise! Whatever you want to get from life is all you. Want to be happy? Find things that make you happy and do them. Want to be successful? Figure out what that means for you and get there. Poor? Move somewhere with more opportunities. Want to be friends with someone? Make an effort to get along with them.
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."
Right?? And everyone's behavior is so subjective. For example, I always try to do the right thing, but the way I decide what is right is taking everything I'm going through and have been through into consideration (in effect, using my own background as evidence and justification for my behavior). Someone from a different background could think I'm a complete bitch because their priorities are set up differently. Just because someone is a stripper - does that mean the person is a bad one?
If your best friend became a stripper, you would be able to justify the action by saying something like "Well, she/he's going through a really rough patch, money is really tight, emotionally she/he's in a weird place... etc," but if someone you don't know (and maybe don't like that much) becomes a stripper you may think something like "What a characteristic thing for her/him! I'm not surprised, she/he has always been a whorey bitch ho and this has absolutely no reason behind it."
I'm not going to say that from now on I'm going to stop thinking bad things about people; I'm human and it's a part of me - judgment is a part of humanity - but I will acknowledge that I don't know everything about everything or everyone. Like fascists. Who knows what they're dealing with at home? Maybe they have a parental or cultural pressure to be fascists. Or rapists. Who knows what kind of mental mutations they have going on? I'm not saying I'm okay with these things, criminals are still criminals, hateful people are still hateful, I'm just saying that maybe if I was in their shoes I would deal with things in a similar way.
One of my close friends, Tyler, once told me his philosophy on life. He sees things kind of like I described after the "Be kind..." quote. He said, and I'm paraphrasing, but
"I try to do the right thing all of the time, but accept that I don't know the whole story."
Later on he might regret what he chose to do if he learns more about the different perspectives of the situation, but he can sleep at night knowing that at every moment he is operating on a moment-to-moment basis, working with his observations and his knowledge, accepting there are definitely details about everything he is unaware of.
I really respect that approach.
I always try to be kind, too, but it can be difficult when I'm being myself or telling a story to someone in public - I can't always be watching and making sure I'm not offending someone.
So... Just feeling very optimistic and accepting of everyone right now. Listening to Ellie Goulding.
